Don't speak
by Queen-of-Gondor
Summary: Songfic. What if Legolas had left Middle-Earth before Aragorn's death?


A/N: I know that Legolas left AFTER Aragorn's death, but it was just an idea, which came to me while listening to the song "Don't speak".  
  
I hope you like it!   
  
Please read and review!   
  
ELVISH WORDS:  
mellon nîn: my friend   
namarie: farewell  
Gildin: silver-spark  
  
Disclaimer: The characters and places belong to Tolkien, the song belongs to No Doubt.  
  
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Don't speak  
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Now we are nearly there.  
When you asked me to come with you a few days ago I somehow knew what stood before me. I knew where we would go.  
Ithilien, where the river Anduin was flowing into the sea.   
Without asking you I knew that you had built a ship. We have been friends for so long now, we don't need words to understand each other.  
You will leave Middle-Earth never to come back.  
I still haven't asked you and it almost seems that you don't have the heart to tell me. Maybe I'm afraid of asking - of being sure that everything that once was between us is gone.  
  
~ You and me   
We used to be together  
Every day together, always  
  
I really feel   
I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end ~  
  
As long as you don't say that you will leave today I can still pretend that my heart lies to me. That you just came to make me visit Ithilien again because I wasn't there for so long.  
That's why I'm glad that we hardly talked during the ride to the place you called home for so many years.  
And yet they were only a moment in your immortal life, weren't they, mellon nîn?   
I remember when I was a child of five years. I was playing with my foster brothers Elladan and Elrohir and somehow I managed to get lost. Of course I was afraid and soon I began to cry. Luckily you were on your way to Imladris and you found me. First I was a little hesitating because you were a stranger to me, but then you were able to comfort me and even though I was usually very shy towards strangers I soon trusted you.   
We didn't see each other for three years then, before you came back to Imladris to bring a message from your father. That was when we truly became friends.   
I wonder if you remember it as vividly as I do.   
For so long I have hoped that you would stay until my time is over, that you wouldn't give in to your longing for the sea.   
Now, that nearly all my time is spent, you will probably leave my side.  
I can't and I don't want to believe it.   
  
~ It looks a though you're letting go  
And if it's real  
Well, I don't want to know ~  
  
We leave the wood but you stop your horse before we leave behind the shadows of the ancient trees.   
Now I finally look up and there's no way of denial anymore.   
I see a grey ship, sparkling in the sun, just like the water around it. But it nearly brings tears to my eyes. It must have taken you a long time to build it, mellon nîn, it's breath-taking.   
My thoughts drift off to Sam, the hobbit would have called it an eye opener, and I nearly smile at the memory.  
But as beautiful as it is, it will take you away from me, at that thought it suddenly seems nearly ugly to me.  
We both dismount and you slowly walk towards me. You open your mouth, probably to explain, apologize and say farewell.  
But I interrupt you. "Don't speak," I say in a heavy voice, not wanting to hear anything.  
  
~ Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts ~  
  
We look at each other for a long moment.  
There's so much pain in your eyes that it nearly breaks my heart.  
I remember that your father warned you of making friends with mortals, maybe he was right after all.   
Finally I realize that I have no right to ask you to stay. I cannot ask of you to watch another friend die, I fear you won't be able to stand this.  
Maybe it's better this way - at least for you. I should stop being so selfish.  
Slowly you walk towards your mare. She gently rests her silver head against your shoulder and I hear you sigh.  
"You are free now, Gildin, go where ever you want. Thank you for your service and loyalty." I listen to your gentle words and I don't realize that it's the very last time that I hear your voice.  
After your sent your horse away you look at me once more, it seems that you want to say something but then you decide not to and walk towards your ship, leaving me behind in the shadows.  
As I see you going memories are coming back to me. Memories of many adventures we had when I was young, memories of the fellowship, memories of the truest friend I ever had.  
Of course times have not always been good, sometimes the situation seemed hopeless, just remember Helm's Deep, but it has always been you and me. We always had someone to talk to, to lean onto when we needed it.   
Many have left me, but you remained.  
Until now.  
  
~ Our memories   
They can be inviting  
But some are altogether   
Mighty frightening ~  
  
I follow you, very slowly, and watch how you go on your ship.  
On the shores I finally stop, knowing that I cannot follow any longer.  
Suddenly I see Gimli standing next to you and a sad smile appears on my lips. "So you decided to live among the Elves, Master Dwarf?"  
He laughed, but I can see that he's sad as well. "I decided to go with him, I have to live with the consequences."  
I nod and wish I could live with those 'consequences' as well. "Farewell, my friend."  
"Farewell." I'm surprise to hear the voice of this stubborn dwarf break.  
Once more I look upon you, mellon nîn, and I see how you try to smile. "Namariè." Your lips are forming the word without a sound, but I understand nonetheless.  
"Namariè," I whisper back as your ship slowly drifts away.  
I stand there until I cannot see it anymore, and even then I do not have the heart to leave.  
The sun goes down and Anduin seems to be filled with blood.   
Still I wait for your ship to come back, for you to change your mind. In my heart I know how selfish that is, but you were not supposed to leave until my death!  
We were not supposed to part!  
Of course I still have Arwen and my children, but it's not the same. You were my most trusted friend, my companion over so many years, long before I ever met Arwen.  
I hear a horse coming from behind me and I'm sure that it is my stallion.  
The sun is gone completely now and the moon has risen, bathing everything in his cold light.  
With a sigh I turn my head but it's not my horse I see, he's still near the woods, feeding on the soft grass. It is Gildin, your mare, she looks beautiful in the moonlight, but she's obviously excited. It seems that she can't stand still, her curious eyes looking for something, looking for you.  
Slowly I walk towards her and she stands still before me. I absently stroke her elegant neck and take a deep breath. "He's not coming back, Gildin, he left Middle Earth forever."   
And now it comes to me, it finally *truly* comes to me.   
You're not coming back, I can stand here until the end of my days, but it would be in vain.  
I lean on your horse, trying to find some support. I bury my face in my hands, my legs do not have any strength left, but I don't realize it until I kneel on the ground.  
You're gone.  
  
~ As we die, both you and I   
With my head in my hands   
I sit and cry ~  
  
I get up again, regaining some of my strength.   
Now I regret not letting you tell me what you wanted to say when we arrived here.  
It was wrong of me, not fair.  
I shouldn't have let you go, feeling guilty about leaving me. You should go to Valinor with a light heart.   
Forgive me.  
I would give anything to hear your soft voice one more time.  
But I destroyed this chance for good.  
  
~ Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts ~  
  
Gildin carefully rubs her head on my chest, as if she wanted to comfort me.   
But there is no comfort. For a moment I even envy you, you will see my father and brothers and live forever, together with your beloved family - I won't see mine ever again.  
Well, for the first time it really matters that Elrond is not my real father and Elladan and Elrohir are not my real brothers. When I was young it didn't matter, they were there for me and everything was fine.   
But if I was really Elrond's son I could have gone with you, leaving my kingdom to Eldarion, then Arwen and I could have seen our family again.  
But I'm not an Elf, the little Elven blood which is still running through my veins doesn't change anything.   
I will die, and I con-damned Arwen to share that fate.  
  
~ It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are... ~  
  
Our friendship is dying, the light of Elves has nearly gone out.   
With you, mellon nîn, the last of your kin has left Middle Earth and it breaks my heart.  
I have grown up amongst your fair people and it grieves me deeply to know that with Arwen the last spark will fade as well.   
I look up to the night sky and immediately a bright light attracted all my attention.   
Earèndil.  
I remember ada's voice, as if he was talking to me now. "When you lose hope, ion nîn, then allow Earèndil to renew it. Look up to the sky and when you see the star you can remember me and your brothers, or others who are dear to you. You are never alone Estel, never." Back then I was too young to understand - now I do.  
Then I remember your voice, Legolas. "Our friendship will last forever, Estel, never doubt that."  
Maybe you were right after all.   
  
~ You and me  
I can see us dying... are we? ~  
  
While I ride towards the White City, sitting on Gildin's back, for the first time in my life I know for sure that you were right.  
  
End 


End file.
